Faith is Freedom

Faith (according to Wikipedia):
To commit oneself to act based on sufficient evidence to warrant belief, but without absolute proof. Mere belief on the basis of evidence is not faith. To have faith involves an act of will.

Today I spent some time talking with a very dear friend regarding some changes developing in her life. As I listened to her story, I reflected on how much is unknown in the unfolding of our lives. As humans, we are most comfortable with some degree of predictability in our everyday. When that sense of order is challenged, we can sometimes feel like we are in the midst of a great ocean without sight of the shore. What should I do? Where am I headed? And how will I know when I get there?!, we wonder.

I am definitely a black sheep in my family... yet really in the best possible way. My relatives often wonder at the way I choose to live my life. I have made the conscious choice to sacrifice certain securities for a those uncertain. While many of the conditions of my life have fluctuated considerably over the years, the one security that matters most to me (while it may be briefly forgotten from time to time) is never truly threatened. It resides deep within my heart. It is FAITH. Faith in the Brilliance that guides my life. It is the "SH NE" that "i" am surrounded by.

Recent events have actually challenged the faith that is my trusted foundation. Given the recent evolution in my most intimate relationship (with a man whom I love dearly), Brilliance has taught me a very valuable lesson. I am realizing that, all too often, I have prematurely assigned my faith inappropriately. Upon reflection, I see that I have placed my faith in a condition (such as: a particular job, relationship, or source of inspiration)... leading me to be repeatedly baffled when I outgrow it. At other times, I have placed my faith in those people close to me, sometimes experiencing confusion (or even resentment) when their desires no longer align with mine.

This became obvious in recent days as I felt a nagging anxiousness... wondering if a particular condition that I have invested my faith in will serve me in the end. Placing my faith in this uncertain outcome, I felt insecure and afraid. How could faith feel so fickle?! Today it became clear... to place attachment to something or someone outside of me is an illusion of control masquerading as faith.

When I look around at the Great Unknown of my life, I can sometimes feel a great sense of overwhelm. At those times, I find myself looking for something (or someone) to bring me a sense of security, safety, and a sense of control over my destiny. Yet, I know better. Born a black sheep, I know to trust the one thing that is certain...

Therefore, I am choosing to actively place faith in the Unknown. Yes... by definition faith dares me to place my trust in the one thing that I truly believe always and in all ways will lead me to my greatest good: paradoxically, that which is far outside the scope of my understanding. Now THAT I believe in.

You see, for me, faith defies reason. And it is with an irrational certainty that I find the greatest sense of Peace in my heart and mind. Call me crazy... call me naive... call me what you will. Meanwhile, I call upon the Love that I believe in above all else.

Faith is Freedom. It is true liberation to know that you are secure in every way that matters in the end. And so I choose to dip inside for a Freedom that is attached to no-thing and no-one. I will do my best to love others with more Freedom... without need to hold on to any condition, person, relationship, or outcome. I will move towards what moves me with a heart faithful in its trajectory.

There is only one thing that I commit to holding onto.... the Loving Hand that guides me gently along this joyful path of self-discovery.