Guiding Kids & Teens
Yesterday, I had the
pleasure of meeting 4-month old Sophie. In our
brief exchange, we had a conversation of substance
that I rarely experience with grown adults. As she
gurgled and grinned her brilliance my way, I felt
satisfied and met in our interaction. Now, I won't
propose to know what this blue-eyed angel was
attempting to communicate; however, I can say that
the purity of our eye contact and exchange of
energy delivered its message clearly.
In college, I spent time working with young
children while pursuing a degree in Psychology
& Human Development and Family Life. I have
always been very comfortable with children. Even as
a teen, at family gatherings you could often find
me at the kids' table, striking up conversation
with my younger cousins and feeding off of the joy
they exuded. You see, I have always understood the
brilliance of youth. I have never understood why we
are so encouraged to put a lid on the light that
burns through us. The hushes of relatives ("simmer
down now!") always felt stifling to me. In fact,
they still do! Of course, a healthy degree of
self-restraint is a discipline worth sharing.
Nevertheless, how often do we ask ourselves when we
have crossed the line from disciplining to
controlling our children? How can we guide them
honorably - acknowledging their unique self while
facilitating its expression in an unpredictable
world?
I believe
with all of my heart that children are here to
teach us. Our job - as parents and as the village
that supports - is to nurture and facilitate each
child in his or her unique talents and passions. A
child is a clear mirror that reflects the light
shined upon it. Certainly, a reflection of his or
her environment and experiences. Yet a child is
also an essential piece in a future that is unknown
to all that came before. His or her brilliance is
unprecendented... and each child deserves to be
honored and celebrated for his or her contribution
to the whole. And ironically, it is the
contributions that are the
least understood that will have the most
lasting impact on the greater good of the planet in
years to come. I invite us to judge less, and to
look more closely. (As a very simplified
example: Hyperactivity in children is at an
all-time high. Perhaps we are being encouraged by
our children to find avenues for physical energy
that are constructive... as sitting in desks for
long periods of time is unbearable for a new
generation of kids who dare us to rethink the way
we educate. Again, a simplification of a
multi-factored reality; nevertheless, a popular
perspective in many circles.)
I have found that the most powerful way to approach
my work with children is to honor them as complete.
Children are sometimes surprised by a primary and
guiding principle in SHiNE sessions... that they
have as much to share with me, as I with them. The
recipe for success for connecting with a child of
any age?...
Listen. Plain and simple.
And yes... even gurgling has its own message to
deliver, if your ears and mind open wide enough to
receive it.
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