Never Always

Today was the first day of Daniel's Taiji/Qigong series here at thePortal. It was such a joy for me to see him - my soul partner and day-to-day companion - sharing his brilliance with us. His teaching style is so different from my own, offering me an avenue to grow and observe a new way of facilitation that I have much to learn from.

It has been over three years since I studied an energy art. There was a time when I practiced qigong daily... and I had a reservoir of power inside of me that supported me in all else. It was an ideal combination. I didn't realize at the time that my Nia practice was rooted by my study of martial arts and inner traditions.

Even when I walked away from my energy practice, the power that I had cultivated stayed with me for a good year or so before I noticed a slowly developing shift in my way of being. Suddenly, I suffered from a paradox of desire. I yearned for stillness more and more; yet my body craved movement when it went without. The dancer in me waged a war with the subtle intelligence of my spirit that said something about what I was doing was not grounded and nurturing to my longevity. I did what I could to bring the purity of the principles and foundations of all that I had learned into my Nia practice... and was successful in some regards. Nevertheless, an emptiness still began to develop within. Most notably, my roots became noticeably more shallow over time. I lost center more often... and my mind began to reign over my reality again, returned to something resembling its once unbroken state.

I managed all of these things using the tools I developed in my path through Nia - the principles and practice of my belts offered me numerous tactics to work with these shifts. Nevertheless, it seems that having too many tools to call upon can easily become a liability.

I did my best and became very strong in Nia as a lifestyle practice. And when my body continued to send me these mixed energetic messages, I ignored them. That is, until I ended up in the emergency room.

Suddenly, I was forced to listen to the emptiness of my well. It echoed with hunger. And so, I must fill it once more. Hence, my choice to reintroducing the potency and richness of Qigong back into my life. And as if by divine intervention, I have been simultaneously paired with a partner who is wealthy in the ways of abundant waters.

One of the things that I have learned from observing Daniel (I say observing as his way of teaching is in his way of being and is much less overt than my own) is his ability to take a vast amount knowledge and distill it down to the wisdom at its very core. I realize after taking class with him today that this comes from his years of experience with the eastern arts... this is at the heart of these traditions that go back before modern man measured time and compared truths.

As an example: Today during class, I asked a simple question regarding hand placement in a movement that we were doing as a group. I said something to the effect of, "should my palm always be up when doing such and such?"

"Never always," he said. (His response, in two words, said more than I often say in a three-minute monologue.) From there, he came over... redirected my movement... and no more was needed.

Never Always.

Today I was reminded how the purest truths come in small packages.
In the same way Qigong reminds me that powerful changes come in subtle shifts. If you have ever practiced, held a seemingly simple posture, and noticed the heat generated in the body, you know exactly what I mean.

It is my dream to one day develop a practice that brings together my love of dance/movement as metaphor, subtle truths, and energy alchemy together as one. That is the intention of SHiNE BODY. May this blog help to reveal more of how that shall come to be. In the meantime, may we all find ways to fill ourselves so that the waters in our wells flow abundant and free.