Debauchery: A Life Untamed
(Note: the following
article was originally published on November 11, 2009)
Fall
2009
True
debauchery is liberating because it creates no
obligations. In it you possess only yourself;
hence it remains the favorite pastime of the great
lovers of their own person.
- Albert Camus
In the esire: Friend or Foe?">August
issue of theMessenger, I
sought to debunk the myth that "desire" need be
avoided. I invited us to become more aware of how
our longings are shaping who we are becoming in each
and every moment. In this issue, we go even further.
The context of each and every issue of theMessenger is
directly inspired by my life experience in the moment.
This month's feature offers unprecendented
transparency, as I share a message from an even more
personal angle.
I have recently ventured on an experiment of sorts. I
am exploring the many delightful gifts of
debauchery...a
life untamed.
The controversial implications of the word
debauchery make it the perfect choice.
Its actual meaning: extreme indulgence in
sensuality and/or seduction from virtue or
duty. Despite its cultural
baggage, debauchery is quite simply: freedom unleashed.
It is a choice that is unconcerned with the opinion of
others. It is the medicine that every generation brings
to the one that proceeds it as it challenges all that
is considered true in order to evolve humanity forth.
Its powerful nature may reveal darkness; yet, it is a
volcanic force of change. When you embrace the gifts of
debauchery, it holds the potential to launch all
aspects of who you are becoming into orbit. It can be a
bold and chaotic revolution of self. I am wild with
delight in my own personal brand of debauchery.
You might be thinking, "whoa there, girl! why the need
for such rebellion?"
Surrendering The New
Religion
For nearly a decade, I have focused almost singularly
on self-awareness and personal growth. I have studied,
and I have practiced. As a dutiful student of spiritual
inquiry and metaphysics, I did my best to clear the
clutter of my mind. I made sure that my intentions were
defined and directed. I abstained from alcohol and
other substances that might inhibit my ability to
focus. I taught others how to become conscious of their
words, thoughts, and actions. I even became extremist
in my choices; sharing energy only with people who I
felt contributed to my aim for such diligence. This
continual emphasis on being deliberate certainly
created some useful habits in me. Yet, over time, I
became restless, caged, and - truth-be-told - even
slightly judgmental.
In some ways, I had allowed "spirituality" to become my
religion. I let it confine me to
elitist thinking and/or artificial ways of being that
felt misaligned with my own evolving inner guidance.
Like a tiger in a cage, I began pacing the parameters
of my confines, seeking a way out. As a result, I sent
out a signal for freedom from my monastic pursuits -
freedom from principle, form and constructs. I found
myself gravitating towards examples of raw truth and
uncensored self-expression, hoping they held the key to
my release.
Unleashing the Wild
Woman
My desire for freedom summoned the perfect series
opportunities. Zumba arrived on the scene to
liberate me on a physical level. Through wild
girations of my form, I began to embrace my body in
a way like never before. Latin dance has taught me
that my curves are glorious mechanisms for
femininity - round and supple counterparts to
circular, raw, explosive movements. In embracing my
body in this new way, I was introduced to an
unexpected ally: She is bold, wild, sexy, and
physically passionate...a creature who thrives on
freedom.
She is a fiercely-alive, untamed version of
me.
Her hunger was palpable after spending so much time
latent. She began to comb her surroundings for outlets,
and she found more than one. The past couple of months
have sent me into uncharted territories on every level.
My desires have become vehicles for my own liberation.
I have been living uncensored, accepting opportunities
that send me forth in unrefined celebration and
pleasure.
For as long as I can remember, I have resisted the wild
woman within. I tamed my unruly curls; now I let them
pour forth. I covered my curves; now I flaunt them. I
push against the parts of me that revealed uncensored
shadow truths; now I am openly revealing the dark
spaces. I am surrendering my attachment to discipline
and am allowing the grace of the moment to guide me. It
has been a wild and insightful ride. Yet, in shadows
revealed there is a bright spark of self-realization.
And let me tell you, if joy is an indicator (which I
believe it to be), I am on the right track. My laughter
is resonating more and more expansively every day.
Daring to Go
Further
In the spirit of said intention, I am liberating my
voice with you as a witness. I will become a more free
and willing vessel for my work. Up until now, my rawest
musings have been sequestered to the pages of my
journals. Visible posts have been edited and distilled
wisdoms that reveal only the bright spots.
I now realize that the most powerful examples are
authentic and pure transmissions of both shadow and
shine. You simply can't have one
without the other.
If you feel so inspired, I invite you to tune in and
even chime in! Become a Fan on Facebook or subscribe to
the SHiNE Blog RSS feed to view recent and future
postings. Attend an upcoming class or retreat and I
promise to more consciously create space for all shades
of shadow and shine.
Thank you in advance for bearing witness as I allow my
voice to expand. It is my hope that this act of courage
will inspire a comparable unveiling of some latent
potential in YOU.
Delight in the discoveries that your untamed desires
can reveal. Remember, it is the
coupling of your darkness and your light that shapes
the whole of who you are.
Wild & Free to Be Me,
Candice
SIGN UP for
theMessenger
Our
FREE monthly eNewsletter
all subscriptions are
secure through Constant Contact
View past issues of theMessenger to
learn more