I am blessed to be writing this by the warmth of a fire, oceanside in Manzanita (on the Oregon Coast). Daniel's family has a beautiful home right at the water's edge. It's a space that I call the Sanctuary... as it brings me tremendous peace to spend time here. To come here is something I hope to never take for granted. As I type this, Daniel reads me the following quote from a book he is reading, One Song: A New Illuminated Rumi. (We both share a fascination with Sufism and its wisdom.)

Separate from yourself that which separates you from others.
- Bawa Muhaiyaddeen

What a potent message. As I hear the waves crashing out the window at my back, I am reminded that life - by design - is continually renewing itself. My life is a part of Life Itself; and therefore, I am in harmony when attuned to Its natural cycles. The ocean whispers to me, "Let go of all that you know yourself to be in order to pour back into the exhilarating vastness of who you may soon become." I say yes... I am willing to do just that. Perhaps the quote above is a reliable instrument of measure in determining which aspects I might release, and which to embrace and hold as sacred. The sea holds onto nothing. It continually circulates and renews... keeping no wave separate from another.

May I learn to walk in the world with as much grace as the ocean.

Once again, I choose the road less traveled.

It seems that the past ten years of my life has been about paving new pathways. My most recent choice - to recommit to a relationship that has experienced so much recent upheaval - is perhaps one of my most courageous endeavors to date. And it is good. I feel a healthy dose of exhilaration traversing the brilliant landscapes of these ever-greater altitudes. For a time, the fog was thick as I navigated the unknown twists and turns - reason would have me take the first exit as my light continually bounced back at me with a blinding force, daring me to look my own reflection in the face. Nevertheless, I made the choice to move forth with my course set for an unknown destination. And may I be so bold as to say that I am the better for it.

In the aftermath of disaster comes the opportunity to begin again. Sometimes, a new path is in order. Yet, quite often in relationship we are invited to stay our course along a more conscious trajectory.

I am learning to experience true intimacy as many small deaths of self in the Divine Mirror of partnership. If we are willing to look directly at the co-created offsprings of our union, more of ourselves can be revealed to us. In essence, two people willing to meet the gaze of one another fully - even if once their eyes once flitted to and fro with fear - have the sudden potential to experience a communion of love unparalleled.

It is human nature to flea from vulnerability. Most relationships reach many critical points - those pivotal crossroads that are inevitable when two hearts are sharing a path, each with unique desires. And so emerges the opportunity to learn how to truly love and grow in the company of another. In some cases, in a time of crisis, one or both parties may be unwilling to self-reflect... to peer beneath the surface in order to rise above the drama of circumstance. Sometimes the pain of the moment is so debilitating - especially when old traumas are triggered by the choices of someone whom we love - that to stay is to face an inner demon for whom we are unprepared to wage war. In these times, sudden splits occur. Yet certainly too, there are times when an experience is there to unearth an incompatibility that requests that a relationship shifts, changes form in an organic fashion. It is the wise and practiced partnership that can navigate such shifts with grace and open hearts.

I have felt the tug of both realties in the past few months... yet have somehow landed in a space in between. Gazing around at the sea of destruction all around me, I see opportunity. And I feel tremendous gratitude. My partnership is brand new... it has been devastated in order to be RESET by a force much larger than the both of us. In the aftermath of calamity we have been able to discover one another brand new. Once the story line of our distant hearts dissolved... all that was left was a wondrous sea to explore - how did we lose sight of one another?

As much as I feared what it meant to re-enter such a space of vulnerability, I feel met by a wise force of forgiveness and grace that is neither naive or weak-hearted. In fact, it is the most empowering love I have every known. It says, I will not run from this heart of mine. I face its journey with willingness.

May I continue to surrender to this path of love that reveals me to be more than I once was.

HoopGirl Teacher Training - Portland, OR
September 21 - September 23

I am continually inspired and grateful to be a part of the HoopGirl Network. It's really about so much more than hoopdance. Christabel (HoopGirl Founder) and I just completed a three-day teacher training here in Portland. It was a rich experience... facilitating 14 talented individuals in their discovery of their path as teachers.

There is so much to comment on, that I won't do it justice here. Let me just speak to the power of potential recognized. Each and every person in the training has something significant to offer. Again and again, I am reminded that the SHiNE philosophy is reflected all around me. It is such an honor to be a part of the unleashing of personal power. I feel a responsibility as a trainer: to do everything within my power to encourage (in-courage... instill courage) by reminding each person of the uniqueness that is their birthright. It feels so rewarding to deliver a message that resonates through every cell of my being... what you bring matters!

Facilitating with Christabel is an utter joy... she and I came together only a few months ago with such grace. Our styles compliment one another brilliantly. And she always amazes me with her evermore radiant presence, articulate presentation, and authenticity. She is a true pioneer - not only in the hooping world - but as a paradigm-shifter at the cutting edge of conscious business and co-creation. It is truly an honor to work alongside her. She has offered me a platform to exercise my gifts... without her faith in me, it would be a few paces behind where I am now. I am grateful for the ways that she has held up a mirror to me, as a colleague and as a friend.

And Miss Taj... ah, what can I say? She is a Licensed HoopGirl Teacher who participated in a teacher training we held in LA a few months ago. She has since jumped on board to join the team as a Master Trainer and was present throughout the week to assist - and did she ever! Her silent service was such a blessing. She is a powerhouse of presence, with a silent potency I find intoxicating. I look forward to many more opportunities to work with her on various levels.

I will save time by keeping my comments general regarding the attendees (although I could quite easily post at length about each trainee and his or her unique brand of magic). It is the mock teaching practicums and feedback sessions that light me up... this is always my favorite aspect of the trainings. To witness the evolution of each trainee - in just three short days - is pure inspiration. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to do what they do... jumping in with both feet and being receptive to feedback from the group. I celebrate those raw moments, and express my gratitude at being able to be a part of it.

Congratulations to all of you... Lacye, Erika, Nathan, Nicole, Ali, Lynn, Sabine, Karly, Tia, Leslie, Yvette, Anne, Jennifer, & Lori Lynn. You are all uniquely gifted... it was a joy to be a part of your unfolding.

Since mid-June, I have shared so much on my blog regarding my recent path of healing. And in the last few weeks have I taken some time to journey inward without you all as a witness.

I suppose much of my absence was sparked by a recent healing session with Kyle Cline. In addition to his skill in Chinese Medicine, he offers a powerful receptivity as a counselor and healer. Our session, on that day in early August, delivered to me many insights. During a traditional Chi Nei Tsang (organ massage) treatment, he invite me to dialogue with my organs one at a time. At first - as we moved from organ to organ - I heard only my skeptic brain firing away with doubt... yet in the space that grew around it, I finally became empty enough to hear.

It was a message from my heart that stood out. Among other things, it said to me via word and imagery: "My skin and the skin of your body are one and the same."

I shared this with Kyle after my treatment. He said it reminded him of the saying... "you wear your heart on your sleeve." I was struck by this parallel, as these words have been spoken to me on more than one occasion in my life. Ever since then, I have been pondering this aspect of how I have navigated my emotions in recent years. Ironically, I have spent the last decade of my life undoing the tendency to hide what I was feeling behind a facade that lasted through my early-twenties. I carried a thick membrane of protection - a buffer around me - to keep the world out... and me in! Since I began shedding the skin of days old, I have become more vulnerable and have developed the courage to share what is in my heart with greater ease. Yet it seems that I may have pushed my heart to far to the surface, it could use a bit more of a buffer between it and the conditions that surround.

The skin of the body IS our most largest and most vulnerable organ. It stands in the face of any number of elements that can scathe, penetrate, or scar upon contact. In some cases, trauma to the skin leaves a scar behind that stands as a testament to the pain for a lifetime. What is it to say that my heart feels a similar vastness and vulnerability?

For me, it is to say that I am discovering the power and freedom of the feminine as a blessing that must be honored as sacred.

So much has shifted in recent weeks, since I have last opened the door to my heart so publicly. I fearlessly allowed you all to bear witness as my most intimate relationship carried me through a tempest of change. Over the past month, the winds of emotion have calmed, and I have accepted an opportunity to grow and evolve in relationship with another who is willing to do the same.

The potency of this moment in my life is palpable. I rode the pendulum - at times holding on for dear life, or so it seemed - as it swung me from stark-naked open heartedness to the matter-of-factedness of survival mode. Somehow, I have found my way to the middle. I am being invited to embrace my Feminine power and love myself enough to face the reflections of love in my life.

My heart is finding its way in the world. It is not popular to live with an open-heart in a society that tells us we are weak to live alongside vulnerability. Nevertheless, I desire to become intimate with love as it reveals itself to me and through me... the shedding of old skin making way for more brilliant layers to shine through.

September 2007

You are perfectly safe as long as you are completely unconcerned about your readiness, but maintain a consistent trust in mine.
- A Course in Miracles

Living a path of brilliance is a courageous surrender to the harmonious flow of life. I experience trust as an active endeavor and a choice in each moment - the perfect balance between conscious direction of purpose and peaceful yielding to the view far above my scope.

I see the space inside me like the contours of a river bed, being shaped and transformed by the force of creativity that dares me to give it license. Fear would have me resist the unknown agendas of the currents of life; yet Love is there to embrace the shadow dancer within me - illuminating darkness with awareness. When I relax enough to allow light to pour through me with little to no resistance, I am liberated to likewise saturate the world around me...fulfilling the path and purpose of how the world is meant to be experienced through me.

'Safety' is an undeniable theme in working with clients who are daring to live their brilliance. Fear, trepidation, and the force of the unknown can sometimes drive us into something resembling madness, as we shed who we always thought we were in order to embrace a new reality that is emerging. Often fear responds to our heart's yearnings: "ah, perhaps one day, but certainly not now. I am not ready for such-and-such to change." In reality, we are quite ready for a change. It is lack of trust in something better - the greater good in store for us - that stagnates our re-creation. In essence, we presume our deepest yearnings will betray us in the end, resulting in the paradoxical paralysis of a society at war within: What my heart yearns for in its expression is what most resembles me. And it is this that cannot be trusted. Therefore, that which most resembles me is unsafe. I must become who I am not to be functional and secure.

Today, I dare you to completely sever ties to such faulty logic. Become your greatest ally. Safety is a choice based on this simple, yet profound, shift in perception. I challenge you to entertain the idea that it is safe to be you. The madness is in succumbing to fear - resisting how the currents of life are pushing from within, eager to re-create your outer world so that you might experience you in its fullness. And remember, recreation is supposed to be fun!

When change is happening, I know without a doubt that I am ready...or it simply would not be. I am safe when I choose to trust that the currents of my soul's cries are carrying me towards an ever-greater good. And that, my friends, is the best part! Our rivers all pour into the same ocean...and goodness is the only destination.

Embrace Change. You Are Ready. You Are Safe.

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of meeting 4-month old Sophie. In our brief exchange, we had a conversation of substance that I rarely experience with grown adults. As she gurgled and grinned her brilliance my way, I felt satisfied and met in our interaction. Now, I won't propose to know what this blue-eyed angel was attempting to communicate; however, I can say that the purity of our eye contact and exchange of energy delivered its message clearly.

In college, I spent time working with young children while pursuing a degree in Psychology & Human Development and Family Life. I have always been very comfortable with children. Even as a teen, at family gatherings you could often find me at the kids' table, striking up conversation with my younger cousins and feeding off of the joy they exuded. You see, I have always understood the brilliance of youth. I have never understood why we are so encouraged to put a lid on the light that burns through us. The hushes of relatives ("simmer down now!") always felt stifling to me. In fact, they still do! Of course, a healthy degree of self-restraint is a discipline worth sharing. Nevertheless, how often do we ask ourselves when we have crossed the line from disciplining to controlling our children? How can we guide them honorably - acknowledging their unique self while facilitating its expression in an unpredictable world?

I believe with all of my heart that children are here to teach us. Our job - as parents and as the village that supports - is to nurture and facilitate each child in his or her unique talents and passions. A child is a clear mirror that reflects the light shined upon it. Certainly, a reflection of his or her environment and experiences. Yet a child is also an essential piece in a future that is unknown to all that came before. His or her brilliance is unprecendented... and each child deserves to be honored and celebrated for his or her contribution to the whole. And ironically, it is the contributions that are the least understood that will have the most lasting impact on the greater good of the planet in years to come. I invite us to judge less, and to look more closely. (As a very simplified example: Hyperactivity in children is at an all-time high. Perhaps we are being encouraged by our children to find avenues for physical energy that are constructive... as sitting in desks for long periods of time is unbearable for a new generation of kids who dare us to rethink the way we educate. Again, a simplification of a multi-factored reality; nevertheless, a popular perspective in many circles.)

I have found that the most powerful way to approach my work with children is to honor them as complete. Children are sometimes surprised by a primary and guiding principle in SHiNE sessions... that they have as much to share with me, as I with them. The recipe for success for connecting with a child of any age?...

Listen. Plain and simple.

And yes... even gurgling has its own message to deliver, if your ears and mind open wide enough to receive it.


More on SHiNE Kids & Teen

Master the Flow of Brilliance

Hoopdance for me has very little to do with perfecting hoop tricks or enhancing physical conditioning. The primary reason that I am drawn into the hoop is for the ways in which it teaches me to reflect the flow of life.

Much like life, the hoop has a spiraling, elevating rhythm. This rhythm is one that invites us to merge with it - neither controlling nor neglecting our place in it. When we lack trust in this rhythm, we attempt to strong-arm life...pushing with too much force. At other times, we fall into the despair of inertia...no longer giving ourselves to the life all around us.

The experience of flow - of which the hoop is a perfect mirror - can teach us much about the laws of energy. While hooping, I must learn to reside in the middle. The center point, where my axis is grounded with integrity. I travel around this center, while meeting my relationship with the hoop in healthy balance. I push just enough - equally on all sides - to participate and bring myself to the relationship. When I attempt to control (or bully) the hoop, it lets me know by resisting my force. Likewise, when I neglect its inherent rhythm by refusing to meet it, it lets me know by weakly fumbling along. On both occasions, the hoop can be counted on to fall with a crash! - in that joyful resonance that announces an opportunity to learn... and return to the sensation of harmony.

The hoop teaches me how to find and maintain center. And it is from the core of me that I find and express my power.

The hoop shows me what it is to be in relationship where co-dependence immediately reveals its dysfunction... inviting me to instead differentiate in order to unite and create harmony.

The hoop offers me a safe container in which to reach my brilliance forth, while held in a space that cannot be penetrated.

And the hoop reminds me that I am capable of more than I ever imagined when I surrender to the flow of life... directing and yielding, smiling and laughing, spiraling ever higher.

Visit HoopShine.com to experience flow in your life.

September 2007 - Book of The Month
The Mastery of Love, by Don Miguel Ruiz

This book is a recommendation truly as a follow-up to his earlier work, The Four Agreements. When the message this earlier book is received and embodied, it has the power to transform your life in the most empowering of ways. While I am not far into it, I sense a similar potency in The Mastery of Love. If you have ever wanted to understand love as an action and purposeful way of life, you'll gain insights from this book.

Excerpt:
I want you to imagine that you live on a planet where everyone has a skin disease. For two or three thousand years, the people on your planet have suffered the same disease: Their entire bodies are covered by wounds that are infected, and those wounds really hurt when you touch them. Of course, they believe this is a normal physiology of the skin. Even the medical books describe this disease as a normal condition. When the people are born, their skin is healthy, but around three or four years of age, the first wounds start to appear. By the time they are teenagers, there are wounds all over their bodies.

Can you imagine how these people are going to treat each other? In order to relate with one another, they have to protect their wounds. They hardly ever touch each other’s skin because it is too painful. If by accident you touch someone’s skin, it is so painful that right away she gets angry and touches your skin, just to get even. Still, the instinct to love is so strong that you pay a high price to have relationships with others.

Well, imagine that a miracle occurs one day. You awake and your skin is completely healed. There are no wounds anymore, and it doesn’t hurt to be touched. Healthy skin you can touch feels wonderful because the skin is made for perception. Can you imagine yourself with healthy skin in a world where everyone has a skin disease? You cannot touch others because it hurts them, and no one touches you because they make the assumption that it will hurt you.

If you can imagine this, perhaps you can understand that someone from another planet who came to visit us would have a similar experience with humans. But it isn’t our skin that is full of wounds. What thevisitor would discover is that the human mind issick with a disease called fear. Just like the description of the infected skin, the emotional body is full ofwounds, and these wounds are infected with emotional poison. The manifestation of the disease of fear is anger, hate, sadness, envy, and hypocrisy; the result of the disease is all the emotions that make humans suffer.

...

Imagine that you could visit a planet where everyone has a different kind of emotional mind. The way they relate to each other is always in happiness, always in love, always in peace. Now imagine that one day you awake on this planet, and you no longer have wounds in your emotional body. You are no longer afraid to be who you are. Whatever someone says about you, whatever they do, you don’t take it personally, and it doesn’t hurt anymore. You no longer need to protect yourself. You are not afraid to love, to share, to open your heart. But no one else is like you. How can you relate with people who are emotionally wounded and sick with fear?

More Info & Excerpts