I Am That, I Am
I just finished watching
The Moses Code, a relatively new release by director
James Twyman. Take the recent hit, The Secret, and add
higher consciousness including a heavy emphasis on the
role of service and interdependence in spirituality.
Unlike the teachings of late that have paved the way,
this film is not promoting a metaphysical message
focused on empowering the self... instead it emphasizes
a holy message intent upon empowering the soul. The
movie centers around the words revealed to Moses at the
burning bush... I Am That I Am... and offers a
suggestion for an entirely new way of approaching this
message. I will not go into the particulars... as the
purpose of this posting is not to review the movie.
There is much to be said about the film... yet, I am
writing from a personal place tonight.
There is an undeniable truth that I have been
overlooking in my life. It helped reveal itself to me
tonight, and I have decoded a perception that is a
recent source of great struggle.
Pictured above is me just a
few months after I arrived in Portland, over four years
ago. As you can see, I looked very different then. I
had very short hair... and my body was tight and
brimming with muscles from the diligence of daily
pushing them to their edge. This was an important
season in my life. Beginning in the year 2000, the body
you see above carried me through many achievements and
much growth. My streamlined physique above reflected my
business ethic, my single-minded ambition, and my
passion at the time.
This was the true beginning of a destiny that I felt
called to embody. It stemmed from a reason for being
that resonated within me for as long as I can remember.
And in the years from the time of that photo to now, I
have witnessed the miraculous. I have watched myself
inch ever-more closely to my calling (and I know this,
because the voice gets louder). And the primary way
that I have done this to date has been to say
"yes"
to pathways
that have enabled me to connect to the voice within.
One choice at a time, I awakened to my soul's
yearning... saying yes to heartbreak as a journey to
self love.... yes to an insatiable spiritual inquiry...
yes to the emergence of the leader within in job after
job... yes to being unpopular to others in the pursuit
of my truth... yes to movement as a vehicle for
unleashing my brilliance... yes to hooping as a pathway
to understand what enlivens me in the presence of
others. Again and again,
yes has been leading me home.
Now, I find myself standing at the doorway of my
mission as a messenger in this time of great love
embodiment. And, suddenly, "no" has stepped in.
I have been experiencing a great paralysis. I am no
longer the same driven woman in that picture above... a
young soul who manifested opportunity after
opportunity... businesses, clients, and projects. The
one who dared to dream of a life where she could work
for herself. The one who worked endlessly, blasting
through to-do lists and pushing through with a warrior
mindset. I am the woman on the other side of the wall
she busted through. I find myself standing at the point
of entry, saying: "Ah yes, now... I know what I can and
must do." And... I do nothing! Much unlike this decade
of movement that propelled me into the now, anything
other than stillness feels false to this new me.
And so, it was today that I wondered aloud to a dear
friend, "What is it that stops
me from the actions towards this next creation of my
soul's deepest yearning?"
The pieces are coming
together now. You see, I have felt conflicted in my
heart. I have always been wired in such a way that I
cannot step forth on a path where my heart does not
fully align. I have experienced it admiration,
resentment, and utter confusion from others for this
inherent trait in me. Yet, I have come to accept it in
myself.
The degree to which my heart has been halting the
progression of my path as an aspiring author is
becoming more clear. I now understand that an old
paradigm has expired, and a new one has been forming. I
am unwilling to take even a step forward with a
worn-out energetic that feels out of integrity with who
I am destined to become.
My Destiny in this life is Service.
And the gifts that I am blessed with are not commodity
or product.
They are blessed pathways that require Grace and
Humility.
The old paradigm is that of the Entrepreneur. Much of
its energy hinges on the question of how to take skills
and talents and make them a marketable and sustainable
source of sustenance in my life. This mode of being is
not good or bad, as it certainly served its time in my
life. Nevertheless, it has been flipped on its head
over the past few months, and I see it now clear as
day. I don't know yet how
this will
change how and what I do... but
I do know that a rapid and irreversible revolution is
happening with me on a soulular
level.
While I am not rejecting the ways of business
development as we know them to operate, I am certain
that my creative energies will continue to allude me if
I continue to yoke them to dollars and cents. In this
new world where I see us all benefiting organically
from the way in which we are destined to serve this
world, a financial plan for a path of transformation
feels somehow forced. Certainly, I can set objectives!
Yet, I know that what
I must create I
must create for the sake of serving a greater good.
I must serve because service is needed.
I must give of myself because giving is the only thing
that matters.
Even to me it sounds a bit idealistic. How will I pay
my bills if I take a month off to write a book? How can
I energetically give away my time and energy to causes
that need it without room in my budget? I will not go
there. I leave such miracles to God. I only know that
this is the simplification (however naive) that must
take place as I move forward on my path.
I opened myself to God through the path of the
Entrepreneur... and now the Minister is stepping in to
take her place.
It is not that I believe I have to live minimally (or
go without the material pleasures in life) to be great
in service.... yet I do know that, for me, service must
start to proceed my monetary apprehensions and needs to
feel secure. I fully appreciate and honor the ways in
which the business-mind is shaping my reality and
providing me with liberties to have choice over what I
do with my time... yet, what AM I doing with my time?
This may sound dramatic but everything aside from
helping others to feel the light of their brilliance
within feels like a slow death to me. Too much time is
spent on complex business operations and not enough on
the inspirations that pulse through me in the moment.
I am taking my life back now.
I pray for the divine guidance within me to show me the
way.
A New Earth
February 2008 - Book of The Month
A New Earth: Awakening
to Your Life's Purpose
by Eckhart Tolle
A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle. This is a book that I picked up nearly two years ago, when it was first released. The degree to which the pages are earmarked and inked is a testament to what a treasured resource it continues to be on my spiritual path. I was thrilled when I learned that Oprah Winfrey has joined forces with Eckhart Tolle. They will be sharing this extraordinary work worldwide through a 10-week interactive webinar. - Candice
Creating a New Earth is a Community Event. Join
Us.
Our community has the
opportunity to be an active participant in a global
force, led by Eckhart Tolle and Oprah Winfrey. Join
Life Coach and Joyful Visionary, Candice Schutter, as
she opens her home studio to a gathering of those
interested in experiencing the power of collective
awakening. Candice will help facilitate exploration of
the depths of this work in a weekly offering - equal
parts coaching and community book discussion. We will
gather as a group to attend the online class LIVE, and
then stick around to discuss our experiences. This is a
donation-only community event.
A New
Earth
SHiNE Circle
Group
Coaching & Discussion Group
the SHiNE Portal - NE Portland
Mondays, March 3 - May 5
6:00pm to 8:30pm
6:00pm
Webinar (view together)
7:30pm
Refreshments & Discussion
Just
3 Easy Steps:
1
SIGN
UP ONLINE
at Oprah.com for the online
webinar and access to workbook supplements.
2
RSVP
to SHiNE
Email us to let use know
you plan to attend. Space is limited, so act
now.
3
AWAKEN
in COMMUNITY
Read each week’s assigned
chapters and join us on Monday nights to share in the
experience.
Donation Only Event
Please
RSVP prior to attending
The Other 90 Percent
December 2007 - Book of The Month
The Other 90 Percent:
How to Unlock Your Untapped Potential in Leadership and
Life
by Robert K. Cooper
A colleague and
friend recently recommended this book to me... I am
just getting around to reading it. I am only a quarter
of the way through it; yet, I am fully enjoying the
energy with which it is written. You can read lengthy
reviews (and excerpts) on Amazon - see link below. In
short, I consider it upbeat and inspiring tool the path
to unleashing our brilliance.
Click Here
for More Info on The Other 90 Percent.
Do you have recommendations
for other brilliant resources?
I want to know about them! Email SHiNE
The Mastery of Love
September 2007 - Book of The Month
The Mastery of
Love, by Don Miguel Ruiz
This book is a
recommendation truly as a follow-up to his earlier
work, The Four
Agreements. When the message this
earlier book is received and embodied, it has the power
to transform your life in the most empowering of ways.
While I am not far into it, I sense a similar potency
in The Mastery of
Love. If you have ever wanted
to understand love as an action and purposeful way of
life, you'll gain insights from this book.
Excerpt:
I want you to imagine
that you live on a planet where everyone has a skin
disease. For two or three thousand years, the people on
your planet have suffered the same disease: Their
entire bodies are covered by wounds that are infected,
and those wounds really hurt when you touch them. Of
course, they believe this is a normal physiology of the
skin. Even the medical books describe this disease as a
normal condition. When the people are born, their skin
is healthy, but around three or four years of age, the
first wounds start to appear. By the time they are
teenagers, there are wounds all over their bodies.
Can you imagine how these people are going to treat
each other? In order to relate with one another, they
have to protect their wounds. They hardly ever touch
each other’s skin because it is too painful. If by
accident you touch someone’s skin, it is so painful
that right away she gets angry and touches your skin,
just to get even. Still, the instinct to love is so
strong that you pay a high price to have relationships
with others.
Well, imagine that a miracle occurs one day. You awake
and your skin is completely healed. There are no wounds
anymore, and it doesn’t hurt to be touched. Healthy
skin you can touch feels wonderful because the skin is
made for perception. Can you imagine yourself with
healthy skin in a world where everyone has a skin
disease? You cannot touch others because it hurts them,
and no one touches you because they make the assumption
that it will hurt you.
If you can imagine this, perhaps you can understand
that someone from another planet who came to visit us
would have a similar experience with humans. But it
isn’t our skin that is full of wounds. What thevisitor
would discover is that the human mind issick with a
disease called fear. Just like the description of the
infected skin, the emotional body is full ofwounds, and
these wounds are infected with emotional poison. The
manifestation of the disease of fear is anger, hate,
sadness, envy, and hypocrisy; the result of the disease
is all the emotions that make humans suffer.
...
Imagine that you could visit a planet where everyone
has a different kind of emotional mind. The way they
relate to each other is always in happiness, always in
love, always in peace. Now imagine that one day you
awake on this planet, and you no longer have wounds in
your emotional body. You are no longer afraid to be who
you are. Whatever someone says about you, whatever they
do, you don’t take it personally, and it doesn’t hurt
anymore. You no longer need to protect yourself. You
are not afraid to love, to share, to open your heart.
But no one else is like you. How can you relate with
people who are emotionally wounded and sick with
fear?
More Info &
Excerpts
Eat, Pray, Love
August 2007 - Book of The Month
Eat Pray
Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert
This book is an
extraordinary and fun read. I picked it up at the
urging of a dear friend. And, as the kind woman at the
bookstore pointed out, it is a must-read for any woman
of in her 30's-40's. In fact, any
woman who has
made the journey through self-discovery is sure to
resonate with this articulate, funny, and lovable
woman's journey. Check it out...
From
the book jacket:
By
the time she turned thirty, Elizabeth Gilbert had
everything a modern, educated, ambitious American woman
was supposed to want— a husband, a house in the
country, a successful career. But in-stead of feeling
happy and fulfilled, she was consumed with panic, grief
and confusion. She went through a divorce, a crushing
depression, another failed love and the complete
eradication of every-thing she ever thought she was
supposed to be.
To recover from all of this, Gilbert took a radical
step. In order to give herself the time and space to
find out who she really was and what she really wanted,
she got rid of her belongings, quit her job, left her
loved ones behind and undertook a year-long journey
around the world, all alone. Eat, Pray, Love is the
absorbing chronicle of that year. Gilbert's aim was to
visit three places where she could examine one aspect
of her own nature, set against the backdrop of a
culture that has traditionally done that one thing very
well. In Italy, she studied the art of pleasure,
learning to speak Italian and gaining the twenty-three
happiest pounds of her life. India was for the art of
devotion, where, with the help of a native guru and a
surprisingly wise Texan, she embarked on four months of
austere spiritual exploration. Finally, in Indonesia,
she sought her ultimate goal: balance-namely, how to
somehow build a life of equilibrium between worldly
enjoyment and divine transcendence. Looking for these
answers on the island of Bali, she became the pupil of
an elderly, ninth-generation medicine man and also fell
in love in the very best way—unexpectedly.
An intensely articulate, sensible, moving and funny
memoir of self-discovery, Eat, Pray, Love is about what
can happen when you claim responsibility for your own
contentment. It is also about the adventures that can
transpire when a woman stops trying to live in
imitation of society's ideals. This is a story certain
to touch anyone who has ever woken up to the
unrelenting need for change.
More Info
Radical Acceptance
July 2007 - Book of The Month
Radical
Acceptance, by Tara Brach,
Ph.D.
I am currently reading an
insightful book written by Buddhist teacher and
scholar, Tara Brach, PhD. It is an compassionate and
insightful journey inside the wars we wage within. It
is beautifully written, includes supplemental
meditations, and is laced with tons of beautiful quotes
from teachers of all paths. Tara shares her story as a
peek into the discovery of self-acceptance.
Excerpt:
The renowned
seventh-century Zen master Seng-tsan taught that true
freedom is being "without anxiety about imperfections."
This means accepting our human existence and all of
life as it is. Imperfection i snot our personal problem
- it is a natural part of existing. We all get caught
in wants and fears, we all act unconsciously, we all
get diseased and deteriorate. When we relax about
imperfection, we no longer lose our life moments in the
pursuit of being different and in the fear of what is
wrong.
D.H. Lawrence described our Western culture as being
like a great uprooted tree with its roots in the air.
"We are perishing for lack of fulfillment of our
greater needs," he wrote, "we are cut off from the
great sources of our inward nourishment and renewal."
We come alive as we rediscover the truth of our
goodness and our natural connectedness to all of life.
Our "greater needs" are met in relating lovingly with
each other, relating with full presence to each moment,
relating to the beauty and pain that is within and
around us. As Lawrence said, "We must plant ourselves
again in the universe."
More
Info