“Why do I keep avoiding the life I want?!”
“Start before you’re ready.” - Marie Forleo
It is really freakin’ easy to put things off. I mean, seriously easy... I myself can spend hours planning [translation: postponing!] something I really want to do. Literally. I am a compulsive list-maker... and it’s seemingly good cause to feel productive when not much of anything is actually going on. Ironically, many people would describe me as a go-getter - disciplined and responsible. Ha!... I’ve got them fooled, eh?! ;) Nah... it’s true. I can be counted on to get shit done, that’s for sure. It’s only the things that require the most heart and soul that I avoid. Curious, eh?
Case in point, many of you know that I am a writer. I have shared bits of pieces of myself via articles here and there. I even have a blog dedicated to my love of poetry and prose. (RecklessNectar... and yes, it’s as raw and succulent as it sounds.) But lately I have been wanting to more actively incorporate my writing into my coaching practice, in bigger and bolder ways... and with consistency!!! So why haven’t I done it? I love to write, so that’s not where the resistance lies. My blog is a perfect place to start; I clearly have the platform. But instead of sitting down to write, I put it off or plan it... I make lists of topics... I get distracted by what is urgent... I continually postpone my bliss. WTF?...
I see this phenomenon all around me. Clients that can’t keep themselves from crossing their arms and rolling their eyes when I mention the thing they’d most love to do with their lives. Friends who are wickedly skilled in a great variety of things that light them up, putting off the baby steps in exchange for happy hour or a Facebook session. Millions of people settle for lives that don’t-quite-suck and put off what would make them GLOW. In fact I have found that almost anyone, if you probe long enough, has a latent passion they’ve dreamt of stepping into for as long as they can remember.
So what gives, yo?!
Why do so many of us resist getting on with it?
Why do we AVOID doing what we would most love to do?
Conventional psychology would say that “fear of failure” is the culprit. Many would argue that our insecurities are what terrorize our will to act. Perhaps, in some cases. But if we examine more closely, I think we will see an even deeper fear at work. I call it Fear of Exposure.
You see, what we love the most, reveals us the most.
Essentially, our deepest passions are connected with the most intimate part of us. When we unlock their expression, we are completely exposed. Offering exposure to what is most real for us is the scariest thing we could ever do. Ironically it is also the key to unlocking our greatest joy. We are our most free when we are our most vulnerable, honest, naked, and real.
It’s scary, isn’t it?... being so exposed?
True. It takes practice, stepping into the light in all your naked glory. But let’s be clear, it’s not the fear that stops you from doing what your heart yearns for. Hesitation does that. What’s the difference, you ask? Fear only has the power you give it. It’s just a handy surge of energy that rises up when we feel a real or imagined threat. It’s a subtle (or sometimes paralyzing) sensation that you can learn to navigate. It’s not fear that is the problem, it is what you do in the face of that fear that defines how the moment will unfold....
When faced with exposure of self... Do you hesitate? Or do you ACT? Giving vehicle to your authentic desires... acting in the face of fear... this will conjure up more power than you could ever imagine.
Uh... okay... but but... but Coach... what about my insecurities?... processing my core issues?... chanting affirmations?... making vision boards?... reading the latest and greatest self-help book? Great! Do those things if you feel they light you up in a meaningful way. But none of them, NOT A SINGLE ONE is a substitute for action. Trust me on this... I’ve done the legwork.
It’s GO TIME....
I commit to:
Writing. It is the passion I mostly intimately connect to. It is what I was born to do... and therefore, it scares the shit out of me how naked I become when I do it. And that’s EXACTLY why I have to do it. I plan to walk my talk, and I hope you’ll come along for the ride.
What about YOU?
What are you scared shitless of doing... that you are going to just do anyway? I’ve got your back. Seriously. You don’t have to do it alone. And trust me. The Nike brand is timeless for a reason. Just Do It. These three words will change your life forever.
Action transmutes fear into pure, raw POWER.
So go kick fear in the ass!!